new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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