Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
