And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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