I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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