I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
