she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
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