So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
