Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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