p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
