Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
