there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
