Say something about gay babies.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
These tits shall not be calmed
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