Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
