Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
