I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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