??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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