We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
