Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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