Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
