yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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