About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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