just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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