i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
