well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
