I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
