You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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