mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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