U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
