dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
