I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
