ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
