I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I want a musical about memes.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
