i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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