How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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