If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
