She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
