i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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