A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
nutella sex= disaster
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
