I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
