I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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