I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
