Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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