I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
