he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize