D3 body, D1 cock
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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