Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
