He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
