ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
