Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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