Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
