I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize