This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
