What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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