allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
