I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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