party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize