why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize