my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
